Out of the blue light into darkness

At some point
At around 2.40 in the morning
Sitting in my cab
I felt a form of happiness
Of self achievement
Like a happy drunk
Like I had just defeated my worst enemy in a bitter battle
And I had looked over them triumphantly
Before staggering away

Like a sadomasochist
Like a hero
I found pleasure in the aftermath of my own suffering
And I wonder
Is this what others feel?
It’s no good for me
My mind was comforting me
My eye twitches
It was a trick. A trcik of the mind
Mother mind had tried to shelter my young body, but she knows she can only keep this up for a
short while

She is cooking stones in a dark pot as my
hunger for sleep seeks satiating
I wait patiently
for nothing
The dopamine is wearing off
And it kicks back again
Triumphant! I am a hero!
Shattered once more
I am the last one sitting
And I am last to rest